Kinhost Wiki
Main

InternalDiscipline

Internal Discipline - how to enforce the House Rules, and keep the peace.

Communication
The first basic principle of "everybody getting along" seems to start with good communication, just like any other relationship would need. This basically starts with allowing for others within to voice their opinion. This often leads to confusion because of the multiple answers that follow.
Example: The Holy Grail.
"WHAT... IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR!?"
"Blue... I mean green! Wwwaaaaaahhhhhh!!!"
;-)
This communication can be an intentional poll for opinion, like a "family meeting" if you will, or it can be done sort of on-the-fly.
"Know thy selves." ["Bugs Bunny in the May-Twix", maybe? :-P]
If you're all friends, that sure as heck is gonna help. Even knowing what to expect from your others is good information. Listening and trying to figure out who you are during the day can help the group of you understand your behavior.
Agree on what is acceptable to everybody
House rules don't work if three are yay and a major player is nay. Forcing the issue leads to the nay player sniping and rebelling. If everybody agrees on what's acceptable as limits, and everybody covers themselves for those limits, things should work. [Body behavior is going to vary between personalities, and that's okay as long as the behavior doesn't go past agreed upon limits of the group.]
Everybody's in charge of discipline and rewards.
Everybody needs feedback, and everybody has ways of disciplining or rewarding people in your head. Some are more apt for discipline, and we believe that they generally get more "guarding" responsibility... But ultimately "only 'YOU can prevent forest fires." I.E. ultimately it is up to every one of you to keep "all of you" going.
Negotiate.
"Okay. This ride looks dangerous. We'll agree to allow our body to go on it as long as you agree not to go on that next one you were thinking about going on over there. We've had enough watching our body get thrown around like this."
And yes, that was our negotiation for letting Sakker go on the BatMan ride, but not Robin when we were at Great Adventure in New Jersey. Heh. What silly naming conventions, huh?
Everybody needs time.
Time for multiples is a scarce resource indeed. That means that there's always going to be some internal conflict over what you all want to do. C: "I want to write that program." G: "I want to build something out of wood." S: "I want to play a violent videogame." T: "I want to masturbate." Etc. It may not always be possible to fulfill the needs of everyone. What we do is to allocate blocks of time to the individuals, and some "random time" that isn't allocated to anybody in particular, and just try to work together on what we need.

[Original page contributions by ChrisK ]


See Also

<< House Rules | ManualTOC | Identifying Triggers? >>