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Now, I recently said on OtherkindHosts list that I wanted to write a chapter for the "Multiplicity: The Missing Manual" about how being multiple nearly guarantees that you have sexual orientation or gender identity issues. I say nearly guarantees because I know 1 multiple (out of about a hundred) who says everyone in their head is the same gender as their body AND who claims to only be attracted to the opposite gender. Whether they're in denial about one or the other is something else.

Here's how it goes, basically:

The absolute vast majority of multiples I know have a minimum of one person in their head who is not the same gender as their body (not even counting un-gendered residents! -- clearly opposite gendered.)

So first off, said person is of the T or Q in the LGBTQ. (T stands for either Transsexual or Transgender. Q alternately stands for Queer or Questioning -- T or Q would fit the "gender dysmorphia" category, and discomfort with the mismatch between personal gender vs. body gender fits the T regardless of desire to actually or actively change the body's gender or wear opposite-gendered clothing.)

Thus establishing that most multiples have at least one person in their body wrestling with a transgender issue or body/gender dysmorphia issue....

Such persons in their head have another dilemma: Are they straight or are they gay? Every transgendered person struggles with the same dilemma: when the transgendered resident is fronting in the body, they are similar to any other transgendered person, presumably without hormone treatments or gender reassignment in-progress.

[Aside: They could be asexual, which technically believe it or not can fit into LGBTQ issues also because in most cases it firmly fits into the Queer and outcast due to non-conformity of the LGBTQ community -- the same annoyance, guilt, or outright blackmail re: family pressure to "marry" etc. But let's set that aside for a moment, since in my experience it's rare that every transgendered resident is asexual.]

If the transgendered resident(s) are attracted to people of their current body's gender, they are mentally heterosexual, but physically homosexual.

If the transgendered resident(s) are attracted to people of their perceived gender, they are mentally homosexual, but physically heterosexual.

Without passing judgement on this difficulty, understand that this is exactly the dilemma that any transgendered person has. If they are attracted to either gender, they have a homosexuality issue. One might presume that being physically heterosexual is somehow "better" from a social standpoint, but in either case the internal conflict that ensues can be very damaging--especially if one's physical partners are not aware of the transgender issue.

There are clear differences in how men and women act, some of those differences exert themselves in the bedroom with one's intimate partners. For example, whether one is assertive or passive, positions, erogenous zones, speech patterns, self-expression -- these are all affected by gender roles. Some folks feel self-assured enough to play with these loose rules, while others who are not comfortable will exert what they believe are the "proper roles". Unable to be comfortable and authentic with themselves or their partner, the sexual experience is likely to become damaged.

See Also

<< Identity | ManualTOC | What label fits >>

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