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Intimate Relations

  1. Don't get intimidated or overwhelmed by their headcount. If you listed all the people you've met in your lifetime it wouldn't be so intimidating at all.
  2. Take them as they come, and if you have feelings just be honest about them -- you can say "hey, this is a little overwhelming, I need to catch my breath...." -- people are far more observant than given credit for and your discomfort can be misinterpreted if you aren't 100% up-front and blunt (but kind) about it.
  3. You're likely to get every type of person under the sun, just keep in mind that they're all just trying to protect themselves and your partner.
  4. Some people you meet may be mistaken, misguided, ultra-twitchy, or extreme. But they're not evil, or bad, etc. Be careful how you label people versus their behavior. "That behavior isn't acceptable" is fine. Or "Your behavior is hurting me."
  5. Mind your own boundaries. You need very agile emotional boundaries and clear lines/limits to handle this. Protect yourself, because breaking you won't help them.
  6. Beware of trust games. Hurt people test people. They may push to make sure you won't run away and abandon them. Especially if they have abandonment issues, which is quite likely.
  7. Try not to take things personally, and say "Hey, I need to time myself out!" if you're getting upset. THEN leave the room. Calm down, and come back.

See Also

<< Re-parenting | ManualTOC | Someone for everyone >>


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