Can we talk this over?
June 17, 2011, at 07:06 AM
First, a message to everyone who isn't fronting right now: I know you may have tried to communicate with others before, that you might be tired of trying, and that you might not even know where or how to begin from the inside. You're probably not the only one who is frustrated. Please continue to look for ways to communicate and don't feel boxed in by only certain methods of communication. I give some ideas below to help you open up to what is possible, not to limit you to the ideas I list. Do what comes naturally for you, because that's what is most likely to work.
Now back to the main body of the post:
How can you beef up internal communication? First, set your expectations lower (see the post The Problem with Extremes). If you're expecting crystal clear verbal-type communication at all times, you might need to lower your expectations just so you don't create extra anxiety that hampers communication. Communication can be "a feeling," or a "sense" of what someone wants to communicate, too. It can be very subtle. Some of us have had luck on working up to the easy communication of internal explicit and crystal-clear telepathy, but others have to play Pictionary visual games, or use sign language, write things down, sing, draw, etc.
We've done it all. I don't think there has ever been a single communication style that we could count on 100% so we try everything and then some. First, I had no idea what all the voices (images, mumblings etc.) in my head were about when I was about 10 years old. Since they were commenting on what was going on around me, and creating ongoing news-like rants or soliloquies (sometimes John Stewart-like) on my life, I thought it was "just me." Why would I have thought anything else? I thought everyone had accidentally tuned in to 10 different thought-stations at the same time. So sometimes it's a matter of recognizing what IS another "voice" in your head. It might seem like you're the one "thinking" something, when it's not really coming from you (because it's not something you're conscious of creating).
My first two-way conscious communications happened during trance states and auto-writing. Actually, auto-writing is also a trance state. "I" would go deeply inside myself, and have a conversation with one or 2 entities I found there, and later I started "allowing" my pen to write for me (and eventually my typing became so automatic that I could use that too). I was able to have conversations, sometimes back-and-forth, sometimes they were answering the questions I was thinking.
It's a mild dissociative state, but I think it's very acceptable because it's fostering direct communication with others. Consider that a full switch is "letting" someone else use our body. Almost like switching pilots for an airplane. In this case, there's no full switch going on, I'm just "letting" them use our hand(s) -- it's like having a co-pilot help you fly the plane. So the words appear to be typing themselves or writing themselves. I find it much less disconcerting than when someone "takes over" but I'm still "Front" -- I consider that having my face crammed against the cockpit window while someone else has the flight controls behind me and I have no control over the airplane anymore. That's really spooky and I don't recommend it!
The calmer you are, the better communication will be, whatever the means. So I would use a grounding technique I created for my book SURRENDER™ to Passion: in short breathe very deeply so that your whole belly puffs out and fill your lungs from the bottom to the top with air. Continue breathing this deeply while paying attention to your body. Wiggle your feet or toes, wiggle your butt in your chair. Both of these actions activate your root chakra and your body system will shift from anxiety to calm. Keep doing it until you feel more calm and present in your body.
Once you're calm, try to allow communication. What I mean to say is don't try to communicate, just try to stay out of the way of communication. Perhaps you'll feel an urge to get a specific tool like pen and paper, drawing pad and crayons, whiteboard and markers, typewriter, journal, notebook, etc. Go with the feeling. Or perhaps you'll "see" something like a face or person in your mind.
If you're really lucky, you just get to "think at each other" like telepathy. However, you're also lucky to have any form of communication, no matter how rudimentary. Some people take years to get to having any direct communication with their others. So try getting calm, getting out of the way, and allowing communication in any form.